Friday, August 21, 2009

Got a rather interesting haircut in the name of change, and all that. Unfortunately I think interesting is not what I was looking for, normality and the ability to look in a mirror without cringing/ rearranging obsessively might have ranked higher on the list had I made one. Spent most of today lounging around, sifting through old papers, discarding essays which I got low marks in and keeping the A grade essays ;p oh and watching Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason.

I seem to have produced my best writing under great duress in my jc years, now it's all cliche, things I can't bear to say or say in the hopes that it will change my mind (eg: i will forget, i'm over all that, blahblahblah), or endless gratitude, honestly I'm sick of that, just let it be known once and for all that I am eternally grateful for this one thing, I'm sure the universe knowswhat it is, but for the other hundred things I still need to work on (eg: terribly bad timing of things so I can actually end up pangsehing more than one group of people at the same time and end up watching movies at home with a stomachache/ cramps), well what can I say, no amount of reiteration about the good things is going to HELP andjust makes me sound either too falsely happy, or eternally angsty (if I do start on my litany of things that I don't like about life.)

Was really high on sunday, from exhaustion I suspect, tiredness has that effect on me. But super fun day :) funny how things worked out, heh easy for me to say i guess, just turn up late and throw in help randomly where needed, but hey who's complaining it turned out well right? :)

some other things - i've sworn countless times to forget, so i shall try not to renenge on my word. purely pretending the knowledge away doesn't work i think, so this is harder than expected. oh goodness, can't i just go back in time and turn away before it even started? i have a new prayer, just that it won't be too weird. HONESTLY, is that too much to ask for?!

need to start preparing to go back, ahhhh. 101 things to do, then the task of making it all fit into the suitcases, i haaate this part. though i like watching movies on the plane. heh.

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