Wednesday, April 8, 2009

now, when i look at these things that used to infuriate me no end, for some reason, i just feel peace, and mild interest and amusement. and so the hour spent thinking through this has been worth it.

prayed so hard for peace some time ago, desperate for relief, because nothing seemed to be going right. i had given up on steering my own ship, and i guess that's when i began my really bad coping mechanism of only doing whatever seemed right at that particular moment. which is not that bad cept you tend to look abit nuts. lol. and it took nearly a year to achieve peace. perhaps it's because the unfamiliar has become familiar, and if the unknown turns out to be rather placid and nice, you tend to be peaceful rather than constantly jumpy. but i dont think that is exactly it, because some things do set off the firecrackers from time to time...

so i think this is just that - a moment of peace, a giving up of a load of hate and jealousy and appreciating everything God has created and not just wanting it all for yourself (but i still want some things, like to eat at red fort, and booooooooooks, but anyway...) because there is no other explaination for this sudden lack of an insurgent annoyance and envy that i had come to expect whenever i chanced upon this.

i think everything will be fine. (if i pass my exams that is - ARGH)

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