Sunday, April 12, 2009

had a v fun time boxing at the gym just now, then was in -absolute- heaven at next & republic in the new shopping mall i've discovered (after all this time here...) bought stuff! i've never spent so much money all by myself probably... but jeans + hoodie will probably last me a long while so should be muchly worthwhile.

then watched the easter play. WOW. it was really moving to see the passion played out before my eyes, especially the part in the garden where jesus was displaying his human side and wondering why he must drink from this cup, and when judas betrayed him with a kiss, and when judas begged peter for help after (i think this part is slightly fictionalized) "there must be something i can do!!" when in fact there wasn't, everything was veering inevitably towards the predicted conclusion.

the gardens were a perfect setting too, coz they were so pretty, what with the brilliant green and the yellow, pink and orange of the flowers, and the black gothic spires of the monuments against the bright blue sky.

and even though i knew everything was up in the air, it was one of those perfect days where you recognise everything that is not what you wished it to be (eg: i should be chugging through my studying, i should be the epitomy of beauty and wit and wisdom and loving grace. well. hahaha i wish) but it's actually okay. these times are pretty rare. but anyway, all my problems just went away - Jesus didn't ask to be maltreated and maligned. But he never complained, he just did it all anyway. What are these things in comparison to what he went through?

I'm not saying all the hurts won't converge again, sooner or later. There's only so long one can be grateful and have one's own small problems subside from their usual looming, warped but understandable perspective. I'm just saying, try and see what you can of the truth. Truth isn't always bad. Sometimes, the truth is that you are loved despite everything. Maybe not earthly love which dissapates so easily and can be so easily wearied and turn to dissent, to annoyance, and that isn't always a bad thing.

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