Lord Melchett: - "Blackadder you twist and turn like a twisty turny thing" (Blackadder 2)
Blackadder: I'm off to see the Queen.
Percy: Oh, should I come too, my lord?
Blackadder: No, best not. People might think we're friends
Blackadder II, Head
Blackadder : What are you wearing around your neck?
Percy : Ah! It's my new ruff!
Blackadder : You look like a bird who's swallowed a plate.
Percy : It's the latest fashion actually and as a matter of fact it makes me look rather sexy!Blackadder : To another plate swallowing bird perhaps. If it was blind and hadn't had it in months.
Melchett : Unhappily Blackadder, the Lord High Executioner is dead.
Blackadder : Oh woe! Murdered of course.
Melchett : No, oddly enough no. They usually are but this one just got careless one night and signed his name on the wrong dotted line. They came for him while he slept.
Baldrick, go forth into the streets and announce that Lord Blackadder wishes to sell his house. Percy, just go forth into the streets."
Lord Melchit: "What I drunk last night, would have floored a rhinoscerous."
EB: "Yes, if it was allergic to lemonade."- Beer, BA2
EB: "First Name?"
B: "I'm not sure."
EB: "Come on, you MUST have a first name."
B: "It might be Sod Off."
EB: "Sod Off??"
B: "Yeah, when I was a young lad playing in the gutter, I used to say to all the other snipes, "Hello, my name's Baldrick". And they'd say, "Yes we know, Sod Off Baldrick"
- Blackadder and Baldrick filling a application form..
"You've taken a vow of silence, how fascinating. Tell me about it."- Lord Percy, to EB's religious Uncle Whiteadder, Beer, BA2
EB: "What is your name, boy ?"
EB: "Kate, that's an unusual name for a boy."
Boy: "It's short for ... Bob."
- Kate, trying to pass as a boy, BA2
"And in Genoa, it is the custom to stand with one foot in a bucket, pin a live frog to one's shoulder braid, and go 'Bibble' at passers-by."- EB to Queenie, Head, BA2
Hag: "Two things you must know about the wise woman. First...she is a woman. Second...she is..."
Hag: "Oh! You know her then?"
EB: "No, just a stab in the dark, which is what you'll be getting in a minute if you don't become more helpful."
- EB to Olf Hag, Bells, BA2
:) :) :)
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