Wednesday, April 8, 2009

actually it makes perfect sense to study at night when everything is perfectly still, and you wont have to rush off for any commitments or anything anytime soon. the sunshine is just too enticing. makes me wanna go outside and run or have fun. when outside is just pure black, you don't feel too keen on exploring the dark swathes of trees and biting winds. well for me at least. it actually sounds pretty cool when put that way hahaha.

anyway i woke up at 11 but my mind sort of just woke up at 2.30pm -_- and going off for dinner at this cool place to celebrate the april people's birthdays =) funfun of course but grrrrrr

i just cant even begin to express my frustration with my inertia. it's not even inertia anymore. it's like a BRICK WALL in the middle of my driveway or something. it's like being stuck in concrete that is fast congealing, it's like being trapped in a spider's web, being distracted by pretty flowers all the while.

and the immunology notes are NOT HELPING. they are literally all over the place and i cant seem to organise them. i cant remember them if i dont organise them properly in my mind. if only i could get it all straight, i could file it all away neatly in sorted little packets, ready for prompt retrival upon request. UNFORTUNATELY all the macrophages and their associated cytokines are darting around in endless circles like the teacups at disneyland or something. or maybe zillions of little fishes on crack in some kinda infinity pond, having a ball of a time. this means IIII am so not. who would have thought studying was more intimidating than sitting on a rollercoaster -_- i should have thought, having conquered one, i could do the other. NO GO.

it's like some twisted merry-go-round, either that or like those stupid situations where both people insist "you go first" "no you go first" or those interconnected webs of relationships they made us draw for novels in lit THERE'S NO HEAD AND NO TAIL AND I'M LOSING IT.

i know i officially lost it waaaayy back i cant even remember when, but i -might- just have regained sanity somewhere in between, idyllically bopping along to life, being grateful etc, that seems not too long ago.

cant run from these. i think i dont cope well with exams. good luck to me LOL considering i'm going to be sitting tons of them and this is only the START ldfghdflgdf

its the stage where, even taking breaks don't help, cos you resent the breaks. but when you study, it isnt productive either, and is basically one major virtuous break in all but name. GAH GAH GAH

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