i'm embarking on my own special kind of mad pursuit come sunday, quite nervous about it since the last one was last december i think? and i haven't exactly been training, well definitely not the way all the websites that come up when you google halfmarathon say one should. but yeah i have trained to some extent.
goals - firstly to FINISH IT secondly to do so at a vaguely respectable time. let's see, previously i ran between 2:45-2:20 i thiiink so if i hit 2.45 i'll actually be very very happy (considering i should be better at this running thing after so many years), if i hit 2:30 i'll be ESCTATIC.
"We run, not because we think it is doing us good, but because we enjoy it and cannot help ourselves. The more restricted our society and work become, the more necessary it will be to find some outlet for this craving for freedom. No one can say, 'You must not run faster than this, or jump higher than that.' The human spirit is indomitable."
- Sir Roger Bannister, first man to break the four minute mile
i AGREE. people can say what they like, or not-say what they would wish to, or whatever. i am what i am (unlike iago, who is not what he is not. lol). and i run because i feel like it enables me to live the rest of life. sure, it has tons of other benefits as well like i guess keeping fit. but if i really train vigorously, the exhaustion i feel is so overwhelming and mind-numbing that usually i no longer am bothered with minor things like being unfit or whatever. lol.
i honestly don't know if i can do this on sunday, not because i haven't done it before, because i have, but because each race is just different. and i dont remember any of the previous races, just that i think they were all quite tough, i was really happy after them (cos they were OVER hahah, plus endorphins..)
yeah so everything is rather different. different country different training etc. have to sort my own pre-race food, even running at a different time of the day (i miss waking up at 5am and driving down to the esplanade, drowsy and bleary-eyed and watching everyone converge at the same place magically at such an unearthly hour, like some kind of secret i've been let in on. i miss the tents at the end, trying to locate people, and having nasi lemak at the end...) .
i wish i could say i could do it and to a certain extent, your mental state does affect your race. but i dont really wanna be too cocky for no good reason, cos then i'll feel rather dumb halfway through when my legs are sore and i just feel like its so easy to turn and run back to halls. BUT. nerves are ok. nerves are NORMAL. my little voice says YOU CAN DO IT. and i think, i think i might be able to. JUST THESE STUPID NERVES.
some happy quotes that i like
"There's no such thing as bad weather, just soft people."
- Bill Bowerman
"Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes his mind to do. We are capable of greater than we realize."
- Norman Vincent Peale, author
"Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'"
- Peter Maher, Irish-Canadian Olympian and Sub-2:12 marathoner
i run cos it makes me feel strong, i run because no one can tell me what to do, no one can tell me if i can run or i can't run (for the record, dudes, i can. thanks. if you can run better, good on you, you probably can too. lols) well that's the attitude i have when running anyway hahaha. i think the freedom i find in my life is not really in like doing way out exotic daredevil stuff. i feel free when i am running easily along the roads; i feel like despite anything at least i still have running.
OK enough of the wimpy waxing lyrical things, sunday's race is going to be SO PAINFUL ZOMG I CAN IMAGINE IT ALREADY. taking today and saturday off, i have NEVER ACTUALLY DONE THAT BEFORE YO so err dunno how that will work. good luck to me zomg. but dont worry i ran everyday around dec- jan and then since sem 2 started about like 2ish times a week, if i ran less i was prolly swimming quite a few times/ week, and ran nearly every day for these 2 weeks SO i think can FINISH lah. just how long i take.
haha. i know i'm oscillating between being strong and being scared. aaaargh going to watch grays to destress.
random snippets of musings 1. i usually love poetry but the apocalyptic poetry felt... depressing for some reason. maybe the thing about th...
2nd last day of ent tmr! it has actually been quite a pleasant experience things i've seen reccently - BPPV [with the rotatory geotro...
be strong in the lord and/ never give up hope/ you're gonna do great things/ i already know/ God's got his hand on you so/ dont...
Every anxious thought that steals my breath It's a heavy weight upon my chest As I lie awake and wonder what the future will hold Help ...