Friday, March 27, 2009

i have chosen the hard road. most people want to know why they're doing something before they do it, and they want to know for sure that it will pay off.

but i have never, ever known if it will pay off. all i have known is the endpoint i wanted. all i have seen is the finish line of any one race in my mind's eye. there will always be further races, but you can worry about those later. and it doesn't matter how long it takes, or how hard it is. it's getting to the end, in one piece, still sane, and grinning cos you know what you've done and you're proud of it.

yes, i am grateful for what God has wrought with the mistakes in my life thus far. he has really wrought good and amazing things out of them. but that doesnt mean i should continue making them.

and i am not too prideful to think i can do this all by myself. well, technically, i have to. but God is with me. (at least, i sure hope so) i know what dangers i should avoid. i can do it.

God, please, please, please help me do this. Amen.

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